What ever happened to the saying ‘age is just a number’? Maybe it’s just a figment of my imagination, in the mental health world it seems that way anyhow. I’m 17, it’s nineteen days until I officially become an adult and the transition to adult services looms over me like a big, ugly, black cloud. Countless times there are stories of failed transitions but now I guess it’s my turn to test the system and decide whether it really is fact or fiction.

Mental health is just as important as physical health but yet it seems there is total dis-regard to my needs and difficulties during the loom and inevitability of transition, all because of a number that identifies me as 18 as a pose to 17.

Not very often does one say this, but I’m scared, in fact terrified. It’s taken me seven months to build rapport, trust and a solid therapeutic relationship with my CPN. Being involved with CAMHS and inpatient service providers has brought me no lasting relationships, so what’s to say that adult services will bring me any luck or joy? In truth there is none. It seems unfair that I’ll have to lose this trusting relationship all because of my age. I won’t become a different person overnight and I doubt I’ll feel any different but I’ll be 18 years old and crossing a line, unwillingly and with no faith.

Time will only tell but it is me that has to face the consequences. I can’t press pause, I can’t rewind, time goes on whether we like it or not but I wish transition could at least wait for me to be ready. It’s crucial that it is a success, my mental health and I will only suffer if not.

My plan is to keep you all updated, as of yet there’s a service provider meeting on 08/08/2012, to be followed by a three-way meeting including myself, CAMHS and adult services.

Success or failure?